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Core Desires



"...and you dreamed it all...and this is your story..."

-Talking Heads. 1986.


Well, it was a very busy and important week for me and the kids and I am so grateful for all that has unfolded. After a very cathartic weekend of purging so many physical memories in preparation for our eventual move, (and a much needed break from social media!) we bought a new home. Wild.


It’s really exciting to know exactly where we are headed and even more exciting that it’s right in the neighbourhood where my kids & I want to be. They are relieved that it's close to their new favourite playground and I am relieved that it’s not an 85 year old house with all the upkeep and inevitable costly surprises. I’m also steeped in gratitude that I was even able to secure the purchase in this circus of a real estate market with multiple buyers bidding for the prize… but there’s something else about this experience that means SO much more to me than any of those details. It’s everything.


For the past three years I have consistently done a visualization exercise to create a deeper connection with my higher self and to help me focus on reaching certain life goals. That is, I take time each day to close my eyes, get still and land into my “ideal day”. Some days I only have a few minutes to spend in this feeling and other days, I allow myself to dwell in the experience for much, much longer.


Of course the visual experience of my ideal day used to include Darcy - always standing in the kitchen with his back to me, cooking breakfast in his pajama bottoms. There has always been a dark haired friend on the sofa to my right, plus several kids, including my own, at the table in front of me. I know there is a staircase to my left and a green lawn. The ocean is not far away. I can feel myself standing there in this divinely imaginary house, taking it all in. I know who I am. I know what I do for work and fun. I am the absolute truest expression of myself. I am surrounded by the people who support my visions and dreams. The scene is so clear and, for all these years no details ever changed, until recently, during a very still moment, “Darcy” turned around from his place in that make-believe kitchen to face me and it was no longer Darcy. I'm not actually sure it ever was Darcy. I had just assumed. The dark haired friend on the sofa was identified too - a different person than I had originally expected to be on the scene. I can see who the kids are. It’s all been getting clearer. It feels more real. It has evolved. It's more true.


When I land into this exercise, I visit ALL the details. Who am I on this ideal day? What does it feel like to be Tara? What am I working on? What am I wearing? Who else is part of my day? How do I interact with the people in my life? What kind of food do I eat? Who is moving through the same spaces as me? What do my surroundings look and feel like? What do my feet feel like on the floor in this room I am standing in? What is the temperature like? In what direction is the nearest shoreline? It’s very specific and I’m pretty good at it. I can feel a higher version of myself, living in her purpose. It takes practice but it feels great. I am exactly who I want to be. I am exactly where I want to be. It's creative visualization at its best.


I can see all the activities of my day unfolding, I can feel what it’s like to be in the space, see the colours, the decor, smell the essential oils in the diffuser, experience interactions with the other humans who are part of that ideal day. It’s wonderful. It’s like creating a memory of my future. In my favourite course to take (and to teach!) - Mastering The BrainGAME - we call this feeling, uniquely created by ourselves FOR ourselves, our Core Desired Feeling. It’s the mental and emotional state we choose to drop into when we are ready to make a decision or start creating something new. It’s where we land to figure out what our next right step is. It's the ideal feeling state to create and make decisions from because it's the feeling state of the best possible version of ourselves. It's magical. It is ground zero for manifestation. The perfect starting point. And it’s exactly the feeling I experienced when I spontaneously walked into the house, pictured below, last Sunday afternoon.


The actualization of my visualization.

My "Core Desired Feeling".

Our new home.


As soon as I entered through the front door, I felt at home. Peaceful. Comfortable. I didn’t even need to step very far over the threshold to know it was just right. And then, as I wandered through the space, checking out cupboards, flicking lights on and off, peeking in corners, it just felt better and better. I didn’t think too much about measurements or ceiling height, bedrooms or bathrooms. I just breezed through, nodding, smiling, understanding, knowing. Certain.


I wasn’t exactly aware of it in that moment, but later the evening, as I wound down from my busy weekend of packing and purging - detangling the life Darcy and I had created over 15 years in our Vancouver home - I realized that the home I had just visited was the exact physical representation of my Core Desired Feeling. The layout of the rooms, the look of the kitchen, the position of the sofa and dining table, the back lawn, the proximity and direction of the ocean. It was all as I had manifested it in my visualization practice. Extraordinary! It would be the perfect space to create from.


You all know that I’ve spent the last year or so diving into a deeper understanding of the Universal Laws and building trust in the notion that my life is happening FOR me (not TO me). This is a principle I have lived by for quite some time now...more than ever since losing Darcy...so it felt amazing to have my faith affirmed by the very clear gift that was delivered to me by way of this home that represents, in every way, how I feel when I embody the best imaginable version of myself.


More than any perfect part of this home… more than any of its fabulous features, of which there are many…the best part of the experience is to know, at my core, that the universe has truly conspired on my behalf and my kids get to see evidence of this too. I get to share my practice with them. I get to teach them how to play with creative visualization and learn to trust that we are powerful creators and the magic all begins with us. With our thoughts and feelings which we are very much in control of. It is what I know to be true. And, once again, it has been proven.


About 15 years ago, Darcy and I had a similar vision for ourselves that most certainly came true in every way imaginable...and I am grateful for what he and I powerfully manifested together. I am also now very ready to release that vision, which is no longer a representation of who I am, to receive what is new and meant for me.


Releasing to receive


I have called in what I want and the universe has delivered. Everything in its place. Exactly as it should be. Ready for me. Ready for us. Ready to welcome us home.


And so it is.


Til Next Time,

Heal & Be Healed.


TW. xo

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